Belgium Beer is lovely. Maes particularly, from what I remember, sparked my fancy for being both refreshing and strong for a light beer. It was the name that I wasn’t a fan of.

Why? Well…I shall give the shortened account of my dilemma. Germany is a country that I will fondly remember for several reasons. Asides from the obvious, history, architecture and the short that are attached to the suspenders, there is an overlooked Germanic food that doesn’t get enough attention and I don’t believe has a fan club. Until now. Doner Kebabs, the Adonis of foods, the thing I will eat even after consuming All You Can Eat fill in the blank blank. If Doner Kebab could think, was a practicing Catholic, who loved playing practical jokes on members of the HA, bye bye Judaism, say hello to one missing persons who is most definitely a Catholic. The discovery of the amazing bit of culinary cuisine in Germany was riddled with mysteries…Why was this a Doner, not a Donair or a Gyro that just tasted way awesomer? Where was this mythical smorgasbord of meat, sweet sauces and pita from? If you don’t know what it is…you have been living without real love. This is what you’ve been missing:

Okay. Back to the point of the picture. One of the mysteries at the where Doner Kebabs came from was answered incorrectly by a Native German in Munster. Turkey was there birthplace…he was sure of it. I trusted him, boy was I foolish. So my feverish search for the creme de la creme of Doners was heading the completely wrong direction. I thought, well Germany makes some pretty tasty doners, with perfectly sliced meat, nice, homemade pita and equally distributed sauce. Surely countries closer to Turkey could top this. The letdown was multiplied again and again. Each country I came to I tried to consume my favourite past time, but time and time it was a terrible experience that tore at my very soul. The pita was store bought, the veggies pre sliced and heated, the meat was spiceless, limp, with no give and the sauce was tobasco spice, as opposed to hot and sweet. But the biggest offence is the additions. The first was the jump off point for the downward spiral of this epic champion. Corn aka Mais, of the canned variety, of the probably punctured can that has sat on the shelf variety, was added to each and every Doner. It was laid on like beans. It was like people ate this unfit misrepresentations and I grew more and more callous, because they did not know what they were missing. Way to go mais…way to send the okay to Bulgaria to put french fries all up in the Doner. Shame on you.