Inspirational Each Milers: The Anyone Can Do It World Tour

 

My first cycle tour, outside of Pea Soup Andersen's in Buellton, California.

My first cycle tour, outside of Pea Soup Andersen’s in Buellton, California.

When I set forth 5 years ago on my first tour I knew very little about the two-wheeled vehicle that I was sticking between my legs and riding down to Mexico. As time has passed, and tours have been completed, little by little I have learned along the way what I need to make basic adjustments, repairs and have some vague idea how to live out of a tent. I still am slow at all of this, still look awkward when I am keeled over my bike, investigating a problem and still put the wheel on backwards now and again, after fixing a flat.

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I hesitate to label myself a cyclist, because I am put off by many of the associations that the name may imply, especially a snooty, elitist, sectarian attitude towards bike culture. I’ve met these type of cyclists and it has nothing to do with whether they wear a lycra bibby or have the top of the line, carbon framed road bike. They come from all different walks of life, all shapes, lycra wrapped or sporting a worn bike hat, rim flipped upwards, freely wagging in the breeze due to a lack of a helmet, lawyers and bike shop employees, 1st handers and 3rd handers, all who consider themselves the second coming, prophets on pedals, with their heads so far up their own asses, they can’t see how ridiculous their own pomposity comes across. I dislike these swines, not only for how they act, but the fear they imbue in others in regards to bicycles. They make cycle enthusiasts feel inferior, that they do not know enough about their bicycles to use them, that all their cycle questions are too simple, amateur and downright idiotic. People are scared to step into certain cycle shops and bike coops due to this feeling. Now some of this is self perpetuated, but there is also the “better than thou” complex of “hardcore” cyclists that enforce it, insinuated by their use of overtly technical lingo and snide lambasting of other’s lack of knowledge. “WHAAAT, YOU CAN’T CHANGE A SPOKE??? OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!” Hey asshole, you have to start somewhere! It’s like job applications in Vancouver. How am I suppose to have three years serving experience, if all jobs for servers require at least three years serving experience.?

 

For me, inspirational Each Milers are those who have influenced me, helped me without a single bit of elitism, creating and promoting a positive environment surrounding the bicycle. First and foremost, they believe that everyone should be able to participate in the culture, ride bikes to their hearts’ content, free from judgment and insult. If they ride with you, sure they could race ahead, never unclip, never stop, for their legs have the strength and diameter of Redwood sequoias, but they would rather ride beside you, explain the mise en scene, compliment your ride, stop for a beer or two. They never scoff at your questions, but greatly invite them, teaching you in hopes that you will pass the knowledge on to someone else, to continue to inspire people to cycle farther, to cycle more, to cycle through whatever the sky decides to do any given day, to test the preconceived limitations of distance and elevation and exceed them.

 

Kevin stops from cycling around the world to have a much needed dance break with me.

Kevin stops from cycling around the world to have a much needed dance break with me.

Several of these inspirational Each Milers are locals, like the lovely people at Bikes on the Drive, who are constantly happy to answer all my bike questions, pass along great and sincere information and are excited by my future cycle endeavors. A few inspirational Each Milers are abroad, like Kevin, a cyclist from Belfast, who I met through Couchsurfing. I hosted him, when I lived in Beijing and my girlfriend at the time, was sure I would disappear with him at nightfall, joining him on his world domination via two wheels and self penned guitar tunes. He had cycled from home to Beijing and continued onwards, by boat across to North America, cycling north to the Arctic, before turning around and heading down through Latin America. He is a down to earth soul, immensely inspiration, funny as fucking hell and a WAY TOO talented son of bitch for his own good. In fact, some shameless promotion for him, he is on a cycling trip as I type this from Belfast to Australia, which you can follow at: http://www.cycle2sydney.com/

 

Beijing Bike, Blue Steal - Inanimate Inspirational Each Miler

Beijing Bike, Blue Steal – Inanimate Inspirational Each Miler

And lastly, there are the inspirational Each Milers that are the nameless faces I have met along the many ways I have gone. From some hilarious Serbian cyclists in Turkey, to an old German lady, who I met in the middle of the forest, who cycled with me to find the rest of my group, these are the people that I admire and call my personal heroes. They don’t look at your bike and how you are dressed and roll their eyes or wait until you shut up so they can tell you what you are doing wrong and what they are doing right. They are real people, willing to listen, laugh and live within the moment, rather than tearing it to pieces. These are the inspirational Each Milers that make a world tour something that does not sit unattainable on a pedestal, but something that if you, you being anyone, want to do, no second thoughts, caution be the wind, do it, do it and do it again. Unpretentious, unregulated bliss.

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To Know or Not to Know: The Checklist of Bike Knowledge for World Touring

The Manchester Eye

 

Though it is early on in the game, with the World Tour commencing most likely in 2016 or 2017, being that I am an impeccably slow learner, especially when I don’t feel it is crunch time (ie, the night before the exam), I have spent a great deal of time scouring the Internets, pondering and considering what essential bicycle knowledge I need for the tour. As it stands right now, the tour could consist of many countries that include remote locations or simply no bicycle culture. What that means for me, is that not only do I need to know how to fix my bicycle, but also how to fix it without a bicycle stand, a vice or guidance.

 

Possibly Manchester at Night

Possibly Manchester at Night

While passing through one of the bicycle forums, a poster asked a similar question: “What do I need to know about my bicycle to tour?” One person’s somewhat agitated sounding response was that you needed to know EVERYTHING about a bicycle, if you’re even considering a world tour. While that makes sense and that I wouldn’t mind learning a bit about each part of the bike, I know that there are definitely more essential, need to know backwards and forwards, bits of knowledge than others. Like chain maintenance is invariably more important than handle bar tape (which I am as good at as birthday present wrapping (my birthday presents always look as if they were poorly handled baggage at the airport))

Restaurant in Geldrop, Netherlands

Restaurant in Geldrop, Netherlands

 

 

Like “pros and cons”, I always find it helpful to write a list to see of what you options you are working with. Since I am a somewhat impoverished artiste, using my printer as a foot stool due to my lack of funds to supply it with ink and also just like forcing strangers to read my “it looks like a writing with your bad hand, blindfolded competition”, I write it all out on lineless paper. I do this so that when I am done it, I can present it to others to consider my options. In this case, this list will consist of two columns, the knowledge that I have and the knowledge I that I must attain. I then have something I can present to bike shop employees as starting grounds to expand upon. Good bike shop folk, in my general experience, will not look down on you for admitting your lack of knowledge, but possibly praise you for your desire to learn more, rather than always relying on their expertise. It just shows your initiative and passion for cycling, which is something they probably understand all too well. My care isn’t being about to regurgitate the knowledge and names like a parrot, but to be able to practice these tools, commit them to memory and use them later when they are required.

 

So without further adieu, I present to you my list, of “Bike Stuff I Know and Bike Stuff I Think I Have to Know”

 

BIKE STUFF I KNOW

 

Tire and Tube – Tube patching, changing a tire

Wheel – Basic truing, removal, spoke replacement

Gears – Cassette removal, cleaning, basic knowledge of replacement

Chain – Replacement, fixing, lubing

Brakes – Minor adjustments, brake pad replacement, lever basic fixes

Seat – Raise and lower, removal

Handbars – Adjustment

Rack – Basic removal and replacement

 

 

BIKE STUFF I WISH TO KNOW

 

Brakes – Brake cable replacement, better understanding of brake levers and adjustment

Gears – Better understanding of cable tension and limiters and setting them

Wheel – Better truing skills, if I run out of spokes, semi-fix solutions

Pedals – Removal and replacing

In General – Additional, non-bike stuff I need in kit for jerry-ed up situations

 

There is a lot more bike information that I haven’t even considered and that is possibly essential knowledge. That’s why having a list is a good starting point, to know what you are missing by showing it to others and getting their opinions to fill in the blanks, building a comprehensive, inclusive list. Readers, if you have any additional ideas and essential bits of knowledge that you feel I have left out, please feel free to comment below. Again, bike knowledge is about exchange and conversation. If you don’t ask, you will never know!

 

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My History with the Bicycle – Part 1

 

Naselle, Washington, in a motel where sang karaoke with members of the Hell's Angels, 2010.

Naselle, Washington, in a motel where sang karaoke with members of the Hell’s Angels, 2010.

 

My memory is on of my lacking faculties. That’s why I take tons of pictures, to blow on the fading embers of yesterday and the day before that. I don’t remember my first bicycle. I do remember learning to ride it. My grandfather was suppose to teach me, but teaching requires leaving the house on your own will, at least to the sidewalk that runs in front of it. At that time, that was not something Zeda (grandfather in Yiddish) was willing to do. So I turned to my best friend at the time, my neighbor, who was three years older than me. I remember I was older than most kids, learning to ride my bicycle, but that was nothing new to me. My motor skills developed in an odd fashion. I learned to crawl backwards and when I started to write words and numbers, they too, came out backwards. Luckily this backwards trend did not affect the direction of my cycling, thanks to the all-powerful gravitational pull of hills. I remember my friend’s teaching method to get me to cycle was to roll me down the sidewalk that led to his front door. I remember I fell numerous times. But I have no recollection of that first bicycle.

 

Forks, the middle American town that climbed to fame due to a couple of books.

Forks, the middle American town that climbed to fame due to a couple of books.

 

My love affinity for cycling did not come about straight out of the gate. In fact, I don’t remember riding my bicycle at all as a child, barring a charity bike ride that we did in Grade 7, where I flew over my handlebars, scraping up my entire left forearm, which still bares the scars of the gravel that lodged itself deep into my skin. I actually remember thinking that I never wanted to ride bicycles again after that. So why did I ever get back on?

 

Sunset over Port Townsend, 2010.

Sunset over Port Townsend, 2010.

 

I attribute the resurgence of me and any interaction with any two wheeled vehicle with my mother. We were in the kitchen one day, discussing this and that and him and her (my mom loves gossip), when my mom started talking about my childhood. She recollected that when I was younger that I was not a very physical child, but that I was very smart. I told her, I could be physical if I wanted to. Her response was a faint reprise of what she had said about me as a child, “it’s okay, you’re smart”.

 

“Well…I could do something physical”

 

“Like what?”

 

“I could cycle…to Mexico”

 

And that’s where it all started. Two and a half weeks or so later I was on a bicycle, fully loaded, overwhelmingly uneducated as to what I was doing, heading south, against early spring headwinds, that if I had done any research, would realize, blow in the complete opposite direction in the summer. I remember THAT bicycle. I don’t remember makes of bicycle, unless it’s really apparent, but I do remember it was black. I remember I got it second hand from Our Community Bikes and I remember taking 3 hours to replace two tires and put on fenders. I remember going on a single training ride of 50km. Along with panniers, I wore a 60-pound backpack and looked like a torpedo coming down the highway. In Washington, my lovely steed was named, Klalita, after the Klallam tribe of Washington (their true name means “strong people”). With only a broken chain in the middle of the Redwood Forest in California (which was my fault for forgetting to take off the bungee chords when I went for an evening ride to the store), in two months, Klalita and I made it to the Mexican border. I thought about crossing onto the Mexican side. But Klalita, obese with my stuff loaded upon her, wouldn’t squeeze through the pedestrian gate. Asking a guard for permission, I stuck one foot into Mexico, took a photo of me and Klalita and was on my way.

 

The famous Custard King, in Astoria, Oregon, 2010.

The famous Custard King, in Astoria, Oregon, 2010.

 

Klalita had one more trip in her. Global Agents for Change, a now defunct charity and social incubating program that raises awareness and funds for micro-credit loans, ran Ride to Break the Cycle, a fundraising and educating bike ride from Amsterdam to Istanbul that same summer. I registered and two weeks after my trip to Mexico, I was in Amsterdam, prepping for a 5,000 km journey with a group of 12 or so other riders to Istanbul (our numbers dwindled to 5 by the end). From the local fix-it on the trip, I learned to true my wheel and readjust my brake pads. Klalita had a few minor issues on the way. Her rear axle snapped in the middle of Germany and the old chain finally died along the Danube in Romania, but aside from that, she sailed like a celebrity yacht to the finish line. After I returned to “life”, my job, my new home in downtown Vancouver, I rode Klalita everywhere. I worked about 45 minutes, uphill from home, and every morning at around 6:15am, rain or shine, I headed out, clipped into Klalita, across the Burrard Street bridge and up the endless array of hills that make up my fair city (well…not always fair, but that’s another discussion).

 

Unknown town, Oregon.

Unknown town, Oregon.

 

December 7th, 2010 changed that routine indefinitely. My memory isn’t top tier at all (nor probably middle tier), but I do remember that that it was drizzling a bit as I came over the bridge that morning. That’s the last memory I have, before some mild, hazy visions of being inside an ambulance. A truck coming off the bridge hit me from behind. I flew into the air and landed on my helmet, which flew off my head on impact. I had abrasions to my leg, fractured by spine in two places and had slightly bled into my brain.

 

Klalita getting a tune up from Steve-O's self appointed cousin. Ede, Netherlands, 2010.

Klalita getting a tune up from Steve-O’s self appointed cousin. Ede, Netherlands, 2010.

 

My Klalita suffered the worst and when I saw her again, this lovely creature who had taken me over ten thousand kilometers in a single year, was disfigured and broken. I fell to my knees and cried until my eyes hurt. “How could someone hurt something so lovely?” If it wasn’t for Klalita’s steel frame, essentially, her spine, my spine would have been a lot worse off and my life wouldn’t be what it is now. Recovery took three months. I was scared of roads. They made me nauseous. I don’t remember when it was, but I remember that it was soon after I got the go ahead to return to work in full swing, that I returned to cycling. I couldn’t throw Klalita away. I visit her from time to time in my parents’ basemen, where she permanently rests.

 

Miss you Klalita.

Miss you Klalita.